I’m often motivated. Motivated to do crafty things around the home, motivated to sit and read books, motivated to watch too much television with my sweetheart. I’m creative, my mind is alert, and I enjoy what I’m doing. I am, however, not-so-motivated when it comes to physical exercise. In fact, I really hate it.

Maybe it’s the discomfort of reminding muscle groups that they exist after having ignored for too long. Or maybe it’s the sudden shortness of breath I’m used to experiencing (although a new inhaler prescription helps). Perhaps it’s the horrible feeling of being sticky and sweaty and too jello-legged to step in the shower immediately (Eew).  Mostly, though, I think it’s the bright red/purple face I get when I exercise.

I don’t like any of it. And I have ignored it for too long. I’m not saying this because stupid bridal companies keep sending me emails about weight loss programs that promise to help me lose multiple dress sizes before my wedding date (note to self – unsubscribe tomorrow!). I’m not even saying this because the phrase “skinny jeans” makes me laugh and suck in my belly at the same time. No, I’m saying it because a few months ago my doctor found that my resting heart rate was much too high, and told me the best thing I could do for myself was to get into a regular exercise routine.

But I haven’t. Instead I’ve enjoyed puttering around my home, reading books in bed, and sitting here on my couch, blogging.

Some people are motivated by activity trackers. I wear a fitbit. Sometimes I even check it. But mostly, it doesn’t do the trick.

Some people are motivated by having peers to talk with about their exercise routines. Not me. I tune people out when they start talking about their workouts.

Some people are motivated because exercise helps them work out tension and stress. I hear this, envy them, and think, “A doughnut would probably do the same for me!”

Some people are motivated because the first few weeks of building a routine are hard and they don’t want to go through that again. But I’ve trained for and run ten mile races and I hated every step of it. It never felt easy or enjoyable for me.

Some people are motivated because their health care team points out some risk. Clearly that’s not working for me.

Some people are motivated because they’ve found a form of exercise they really enjoy. Me? Well, I guess I’m still looking for my “thing.”

I’d love to think that by posting this, I will be motivated to get off my butt and do something. But I know myself a bit better than that. It would last three days, tops. So I think this more of a confessional post: Hello world, here is another one of my flaws. That said, any tips or tricks or hypnosis recommendations to get me going are welcome.